My lips are sealed

While attending the Dallas market in January, I had the dubious privilege of overhearing a conversation between two retailers while jammed into one of those typically packed market elevators.

These two gals in the back of the crowd brought up the name of a company who I frequently do business with and consider a valuable partner. I heard them saying that they were not planning to even visit the showroom, much less buy from this particular vendor, because they heard the company wasn't doing well and it was doubtful they would even get their product even if they placed an order.

What?! That was impossible! I did business with this firm on a regular basis and had never had a single problem with anything. And who else in the elevator overheard the same conversation and believed their nonsense? Then it hit me: How many other loose lips were sinking ships throughout our industry?

There is a saying that that you will always be the person you were in high school. Obviously my career as “cheerleader-slash-beauty queen” got derailed somewhere, but when you think about it, have we really outgrown some of the behavior that defined us back in the days of old?

Two years ago, I was the victim of one of these nasty scenarios, reminiscent of high school days. My new office manager discovered that her predecessor had been systematically embezzling large sums of money from me and falsifying payment of invoices during the two years she had worked for L&M Designs. How large of a sum? In the neighborhood of $100,000.

I felt as if the world had been yanked out from under my feet, and feelings of panic, shame, fear and rage were my constant companions during the time it took to find out the true extent of the damage.

I had worked hard for the reputation I had in the industry. How in the world was I going to face my peers and retain my dignity? What kind of a role model was I when I didn't even see what was happening under my own nose?

Should I close my store and slink away into the night? Claim bankruptcy? Pretend it never happened? Then I reached the realization that this person was not going to destroy what I had worked so hard for.

It was one of the most difficult periods in my life, but I realized that in order to restore my reputation in the industry, I had to set my own story straight, and it had to come from the source: me.

So, as painful as it was, I wrote a letter to each of my vendors that I had done business with during this time period explaining the entire situation, including the police case number and my contact in the Fraud and Loss Department at my bank in case my word was not enough and they didn't believe my story.

The majority of my vendors were amazingly supportive. Some vendors didn't even bother to call, and some were just downright nasty, not willing to work with us at all. The funny thing was that I realized that the rumor mill had already begun circulating about me when I started getting telephone calls from people I hadn't even notified.

It's a hard pill to swallow when you find out who your true friends are, and just like back in high school, I had to hold my head up once those rumors were actually about me.

They say that living well is the best revenge, and I got mine by not only satisfying all of my debts in less than eight months without a loan, but also by tapping into my inner “kick butt” mentality and making my business more profitable than it has ever been.

When I think about those two girls in the elevator at the DMC, I wonder why it is that we are so inclined to believe hearsay.

I wish I could have spoken up to them and asked them where they got their information. In a perfect world, I would have marched them back up to my friend's showroom, introduced them to each other and laid their doubts to rest. Instead, I did the next best thing: I immediately called my pal and let him know that there was a rumor floating around that he should be aware of. He not only thanked me for bringing it to his attention, but let me know in no uncertain terms that it was the furthest thing from the truth.

There will always be a certain number of people that we come in contact with that have a perverse desire to see people fail. It's sort of like that needlepoint pillow: “If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit by me.” Sure the saying is humorous, but when you are the target, it's not really funny at all.

The great thing I found through my own experience is that the people in our industry who truly support each other, defend each other and are loyal greatly outnumber those on the other side.

I guess with age comes a bit of wisdom, because now that I'm in my 40s, I've found that my life is that much more lovely when I am kind, have a smile on my face and treat others as I wish to be treated. Sometimes it's hard, and believe me I've said and done plenty of things I wish I could undo, but it is true that what comes around does go around.

The next time you are tempted to spread some gossip, make a malicious comment or believe something to be a fact when it could be fiction, consider the consequences. Your words could be the undoing of someone's business or reputation. Think about the outcome of a seemingly innocent conversation, and use your discretion as well as your decorum to keep your lips sealed.

We owe it to our colleagues in this fickle economy to help, not hinder, every business relationship we have. Because you never know … one day those rumors could be about you.